The Ishtar Forest

I'm cruising through space, not stranded but moving forward with the light years, my thoughts are not my own, reality seems fragile and all of i can do is keep moving to my unknown destination, thinking about my action,lamenting the outcomes of decisions that now hunt my being. I'm in chrono stasis, locked in a hopeless dream lamenting for time that was stolen from me. People kept advancing and i was left wondering what did i did with my years. After all this time, almost reaching half of my lifetime, what are my achievements? what relationships did i had? is there a mark for my time being alive? there is no much that i can feel, was i able to leave my mark in someone? The time has come, i will now leave this plane, searching, traveling,discovering, shedding my past self and entering into a new dream...

Floating...nowhere to land, nowhere to stop this endless motion in a stardust sea. I feel lost, my mind is restless, filled with guilty, always racing,  jumping and screaming. Judging what i did wrong, what did i say? what looks did i gave? Was it all a waste? did my time was not important too? That's the curse of this galaxy, everyone leaves after the beginning. With nowhere to go i scream until my blood reaches my lungs. I shout and break my throat. No one is there to see me, not anymore, they all went to their stars . Seems that i was the last to know, i cannot expect diamonds if i can only offer copper. My hands are numb, eyes are heavy, my breath is no more and now i am one with the stardust sea.

I hate to be a cliché, a stereotype everything that she told she hated,every aspect of what it was confided on me, all of the aspects she specifically told me it was reproached in a creature now live reflected on my skin and every time that i shift under this moon that's burned under myself like branding on an animal. Her words are like echoes spinning and penetrating my head like silver bullets made to pierce and crack my bones, reaching to tear my flesh, her eyes are hunting me through a promise that i repeated in my mind over and over. Running! and screaming! while my body change and my bones get their animal form! i keep moving through the forest while i fall and keep falling in something that cannot be, something that has failed for me more times that i can remember. The change happens under the cover of the night, i let myself go and the wolf comes out. Tortured, tired, primal and saddened the beast gets to be all that i'm not. He represent the creature that gets to...

I come from shame and self hatred I usually hide from peoples faces Normally wearing masks and closing myself off Those masks are not to come out no matter the pain No matter the torment, no matter the sorrow, Taking my mask off will admit that you're vulnerable and vain. Never take off the mask that hides your deepest truths But what if i did, what would you find beneath the struggle and the shame? Well...turns out that i'm tired, i no longer live my life for fear and anger I want to advance, to fly away until this crumbling mask is no more! Only by putting one feet in front of the other i will live my journey  By reaching peace with my own being i would accept the love from others. So i tried, a fae took me out, sat with me and traded stories until the stars started to fall and the wind stopped howling She made me look into myself and questioned my fear to be happy. I told her that i was there to listen to her and give her advice as mu...

Es triste...este sentimiento no desaparece, aun cuando te veo y pienso en el pasado solo te veo ahí, tumbado en tu cama de piedras moviéndote lento pues la energía y la furia de antes se apagan con cada dia que pasa. Viejo y cansado postrado en esas piedras que te dan alivio y te hacen dormir con ese sueño eterno que expresan tus ronquidos, nada veo ya de la violencia y el terror que infundías en mi ahora solo queda alguien que me da lastima pues me ha alejado con todas sus fuerzas. Nuestros lazos si es que existieron, han sido meramente de sangre. hoy en dia no hago mas que pararme en el umbral de tu puerta para comprobar si aún vives pues solo en las noches es cuando nuestros caminos se cruzan y nuestras miradas se entrelazan. Ahora solo somos 2 personas bajo un techo separadas por la eternidad. nada queda ya del padre que marcó a su hijo con miedo, castigos y trauma. hoy solo queda un gigante caído que se desvanece en las memorias de un descendiente decidido a poner f...

I see a crystal palace where two wolves are facing each other One is white as snow and the other one is black as night Dark necessities emerge from their eyes while i watch They fight and clash to name a victor, they fight for my soul One is the good in me being consumed by the wicked The other is my evil struggling with the the light  Both bite and bark and cry and scream trying to tip the scale One is light, is kindness, is charity, is humble, is warm, is love, is empathy and is truth One is Darkness, is sorrow, is pain, is anger, is suffering, is agony, is regret and is pride Many moons ago i lost my way and i have been feeding both wolves at once I have no balance so i ride the one that's on my mind each day I won't shy away of letting them free but i regret not caring for them As they are my protectors, they are everything that i am  I am no longer in pain, i no longer suffer but i do struggle  I watch each wolf and rememb...

The war is over, my face lies stoic on the battlefield while the mud engulfs my feet with every step, my arms are heavy and my heart aches for  who i was and who i have become. Is raining right now and the first rays of the sun touch my face with a warm feeling. all of my sorrow and gloom are gone and now only my thoughts remain. I used to be a warlock lost in a forest weeping for a love that i was not able to find, my powers were many and my adventures took my everywhere but my quest for love created sorrow and pain where my heart was supposed to be. Only the stars, the moon and my thoughts where the ones making me company and prolonging the loneliness. that's when the war started within the two versions of myself started in a never ending battlefield. I know that when that love finally comes i just need to accepted since no one would ever love me if i was not able to accept myself. my hatred, my anger and my disgust were all things that linger while i was thinkin...