The Rain

The war is over, my face lies stoic on the battlefield while the mud engulfs my feet with every step, my arms are heavy and my heart aches for  who i was and who i have become.

Is raining right now and the first rays of the sun touch my face with a warm feeling. all of my sorrow and gloom are gone and now only my thoughts remain.

I used to be a warlock lost in a forest weeping for a love that i was not able to find, my powers were many and my adventures took my everywhere but my quest for love created sorrow and pain where my heart was supposed to be.

Only the stars, the moon and my thoughts where the ones making me company and prolonging the loneliness. that's when the war started within the two versions of myself started in a never ending battlefield.

I know that when that love finally comes i just need to accepted since no one would ever love me if i was not able to accept myself. my hatred, my anger and my disgust were all things that linger while i was thinking on how to love myself and forgive all  the self harm that i committed.

It was in one night that walking through the forest the rain poured all over  my scars, my blood and my mind were consumed by the drop falling endlessly like a thousand needles over me.

I looked up and closed my eyes, the rain sounded all over the trees, the grass and the ground. my sins, my shame and my pain were being washed away. all of my worries and pain stopped, the sound went away and the rain felt invisible, felt like weight being strip from my body.

After sometime in silence, the rain went away, my eyes gaze up to the sky were there was only the moon and  the stars, the wind and the blackness of the night sky.

Now i'm not struggling anymore, the replicas inside me are no longer fighting, the forest is in balance for the time being and while i walk firmly through the trees the rain no longer feel like judgement, it feels like freedom.